29 Weeks & My Sweet Mamma

The 29th week was a blur. That is why this post is going up in week 30. A lot happened, pregnant wise I don't remember much. Here is a run-down of the week. Sorry it may be long.

On Sunday the 13th of November 2011 my sweet Grandmother, whom we call Mamma (Finnish for Grandma), passed away. Even though we knew that it was coming, it was still hard. My mom and dad were able to get up to Logan in time to be there with her. My mom and her sister were there with her when she passed. I know it wasn't it easy, but I'm so glad they could be with her. If you would like to read the obituary you can do so here:http://www.heraldextra.com/lifestyles/announcements/obituaries/raija-sisko-toytari-thomas/article_cfbf2586-1063-11e1-8a69-001cc4c03286.html

Monday night Chris and I went to our prenatal class. And I had to watch the dreaded birthing video. We watched a C-section and a natural birth. Chris was cringing through the C-section I was cringing, gagging, and covering my eyes through the natural birth. Pretty horrific if you ask me. It just doesn't seem like it should happen that way. Really weird....and not looking forward to that being me. Did I mention there is this couple in our class that we all kind of want to punch? Mostly just a guy they have both had children before and now are having one together. And they guy just jumps ahead of what the teacher is talking about, and makes annoying comments and asks annoying questions constantly. If you already know everything why are you here?! We are here because we have NO IDEA what is going to happen!

Tuesday night I went to Zumba for some much needed de-stressing. Then I had to come and and get a bunch of laundry done so that I could pack up and be ready to go up to Logan at 12:30 after I worked a half day. I went to bed way too late....and woke up way too early.

I drove up with my parents to pick up my brother Logan from the airport on Wednesday afternoon. He flew in from Boston to be here for the funeral. Then we headed up to Logan. We all stayed and my aunt Nina's house. We talked a lot, got some of our emotions out about the whole situation. This is the first death in our family of someone really close. I think a lot of us just didn't know how to feel. Or didn't know what we would feel. I for one was a little apprehensive about how I would deal with the whole situation. When other people cry I totally fall apart. And I cry a lot on my own anyway. Then my mom's cousin Leena from Finland flew in from....FINLAND! We were very happy to hear that she was coming. My parents went and picked her up that night. There were big tight hugs when we all got together. Obviously since our Finnish family lives in Finland we don't get to see them much. We love them an miss them a lot. It was so nice to have Leena there with us.

Thursday some of us were pretty lazy and slept in. Then we headed over to my Grandpa's apartment to spend some time with him. I'm not going to lie, I was nervous to see him. I just didn't really know how he was handling it. And seeing the pain of losing the one you have loved and been with your whole life is hard to see. He was doing very well though. We talked for a long while. He told us lots of stories. We had dinner with him and then we headed over to the viewing.

I was really nervous about the viewing too. The last and only viewing I remember was in high school of a guy my age who died in a car accident. For some reason I had a really hard time seeing him in the casket. I didn't do well with it. And ever since then I have said that I want I closed casket for my funeral. I spent most of my time in the room next to the room the casket was in watching the beautiful slide show of my Mamma over and over again. I was avoiding going in there the whole time. Not til the end did I go in with my mom. The second I walked in there I broke into tears. All my emotions just came flooding in. I was scared of how I would feel, sad, nervous...you name it. We walked around the room looking at all the beautiful flowers before I went to the casket. My mom and aunt had told us that she looked so beautiful and peaceful, and they were right. She looked amazing. She looked so beautiful and at peace.

After the viewing we took my grandpa home. He was doing so well. And I just didn't want to leave him. We talked for quite a while. He told us everything he knew about cows, horses, farm stuff... you name it. I learned about their Bull named Tee Anchor Standard III. I learned about the brand that was on him. I learned that my Mamma was a 1 cow wife (he sold his last cow to pay for the plane ticket to bring her back over from Finland to marry her). I also learned that if a cow gorges itself on alfalfa it can become extremely bloated and can't release the gas on it's own. So you have to stab its stomach and let out the gas. I learned a lot that night. And really enjoyed that time with my grandpa. His health is a lot better than it had been for quite a while. And he hadn't told stories like this in a long time.

Friday morning we had the funeral. We woke up and it was raining. It soon turned to snow. Chris drove up that morning to be there for the funeral. It was very nice to have all the family together. My mom, brother Logan, aunt Nina, and the Bishop spoke. My cousin Katie played a piano piece. It was all beautiful.

We headed up to the cemetery which is a new one located in North Logan right up against the mountain. The snow was still coming down, and it was kind of windy. But it was beautiful with everything covered in white. The coffin that she was layed to rest in was made out of a beautiful cedar wood. Like my mom said, "We place our nice possessions in a cedar chest, and now we place our most prized possession in this beautiful cedar casket." (Maybe not said exactly like that. But I liked it.) After the grave was dedicated we had them close the casket in the vault so that she could be buried with her homeland. The last few times my mom was in Finland she collected dirt, and sea shells just for this purpose. Leena also bought over lots of fresh dirt, moss, lichen, rocks, and pine cones over from Finland to bury with her. We spread it all over the vault before it was buried. It looked absolutely beautiful. I'm sure she LOVED it!

Some of us went back over that evening after the had buried the casket and put everything back in place. It had snowed all day, so everything was covered with fresh fluffy snow. We brushed off the flowers and enjoyed the peaceful quite in the cemetery as the snow fell.

Even though it was a sad time to be all together as a family. It was also a wondeful time to all be together, and truly remember how lucky we are to have families, and know that we will all be together again. We enjoyed many more, stories, poems, songs, and jokes from my grandpa that weekend. We laughed and cried together and it was wonderful. We all had a Thanksgiving dinner together on Saturday before everyone parted their ways. Everyone will be okay, and we will all be with each other again.