So recently I have been thinking about family and friends. I have been listening, hearing and reading about other people lives, struggles, disappointments, shortcomings....life.
A friend of mine wrote a very touching blog post on some heartache that she went through a few years ago and continues to deal with. I had no idea that she had had this experience. We were once really good friends and have since drifted apart a little, but I still consider her a good friend. So I didn't really expect to know about this situation when it happened, and I was really glad she decided to share it now.
I love blogs and when people open up and really share about real life. The hard stuff. I think we sometimes all get caught up with wanting to look like we have this beautiful, picture perfect life. I know I sure do, but lets get real. NO ONE has a beautiful, picture perfect life. We all have those days, and weeks where everything seems beautiful, perfect, and we couldn't be happier, but we all have crap that happens to us too. Weather it be having a baby 3 months early, losing a job, dealing with infertility, having a baby with a heart defect, going through heart surgery ourselves, losing a loved one, dealing with depression, not feeling good enough, having cancer, being a single mom, having low self esteem....the list goes on and on. We are all dealing with something that is less than ideal. That we wish we didn't have to deal with. That we pray to be taken away. That we lose countless tears over.
I wish more people were open about real life. I wish I was more open about real life. I wish that the conversations that we had with friends, family, neighbors, etc. had less to do with trying to be something we are not, and had more to do with just being real. I feel like we would all connect and feel more love and unity if we just shared about real life. If everyone was a listening ear, and a shoulder to cry on. I think that is often hard, we try to protect ourselves, and I think that is why this doesn't happen more often.
I was reading a blog of someone who is more of just an acquaintance recently. So I don't really know her that well. But this is how I view her: A beautiful, confident, friendly, crafty, wonderful mother, that got along easily with everyone, had a lot of friends, and basically was super woman. And I still think she is. But as she shared her thoughts on life, about feeling anxious, having the blues, being a mom, feeling shy, trying to be confident. I thought wow....she's just like me!
I have days where I think I'm the laziest, ugliest, most worthless person alive. Now I know deep down that isn't true. But some days I sure feel that way. Sometimes all I do it take care of the baby, that is it. She is fed, clothed and played with....and I might make the bed. I feel guilty when Chris comes home, and I don't have dinner made, the laundry isn't done, I haven't taken a shower, the bathrooms aren't cleaned and there isn't even food in the fridge. I look at myself in the mirror and want to cry because my skin is SO bad right now I seriously feel like an awkward, 13 year old, reptile, pizza face, with zero self confidence. I told Chris I would be happy being chubby for the rest of my life if I could only have clear skin! You can hide chub under clothing but your face is what everyone looks at, and make-up can only do so much (thank you make-up! I wouldn't leave the house with out you!) I have recently realized that I really suck and making new friends. People that know me don't think I'm shy, because they know me. But when it comes to meeting knew people and making new friends I'm really shy, and terrified, and obviously don't know how to do it. I think what is wrong with me!? I'm 25 it shouldn't be that hard! But it is, for me.
Anyways....after a little venting there... my point is we all have our struggles, lots of different ones. We aren't all these picture perfect people that some people see us to be, and that's great, because none of us are! Let's try to remember that more often. Let's just support each other in our trials and imperfections, because we are just trying to get through this rough life, so we mind as well support each other while we try!
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| The LOWEST point in my life. |
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| These two = My GREATEST joy! |
4 comments:
Haha! I think you are beautiful. You've always been beautiful. And at least you have a baby. There were some days before I got a job where I was super discouraged, felt so useless and slept in WAY too late, and didn't get dressed. That's way worse that if you are taking care of a baby. :) Taking care of a baby is legitimate-- being lazy and depressed because you can't find work is not. I wish I had a baby to take care of. I think I'm more of a closed person when it comes to sharing personal struggles. I'll share things with people that I feel very close to but I think I have a phobia of being weak which is a weakness in and of itself. It's even hard for me sometimes to open up to Jason which is just silly. But I do love genuine people. It's creepy when people are too happy just as much as when people are too negative. ;) And making new friends is a scary thing! I just remember when we first moved to Oregon, forcing myself to attend every social event and praying that someone would help make me feel less stupid when I went and didn't know anyone. You should throw a Favorite Things Party! It's such a non-stress, fun way to get to know people. Also, I really want to meet your little munchkin. We'll be there over Christmas, I'd love to meet up! That was a long comment. I'm done. :)
No filter on reality over here my dear. Pretty sure I've actually lost friends because of my overly open honesty (also everyone I work with is terrified of me). Making friends is such a weird awkward thing at our age, I hear you. Come be my friend! Seriously, come to my house and hang out some time.
I don't know you very well, but I was friends with Chris in high school. I came across your blog from someone else's blog. I just wanted to say I really like this post! It's a good reminder for me to just be me. It seems we have a lot in common because I feel a lot like how you feel! I think it's important to just be who you are, and realizing that life has a lot of imperfections. It's a healthier way to live life :)
I'm glad you posted this! and I totally agree with you, for the most part, all of my friends blogs that I read highlight the wonderful trips they go on, their amazingly "perfect" marriage, the new car they just bought, the brand new baby bringing so much joy, the shopping spree they just went on. and it's easy for anyone to get jealous and feel like you are the only one with struggles. (I feel the same way about facebook too)but you are so right. we all have struggles and they are all different, but the thing that is the SAME is that EVERYONE has struggles. I definately am not always posting the bad going on in my life and I should be a little more 'real' thank you :)
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